As most you know it was my birthday over the weekend. It started out good. Friday I had lunch with 2 great friends and we had a great time. But as the weekend moved forward, my attitude became somber. In short, I was having a pity party for myself. I started to become angry for no particular reason or so I thought. This continued Friday evening into my birthday Saturday and into this morning.
Then, I went to Mass. The first hymn that was sung was amazing Grace. As the song started as I was singing (reading) the words to the song, I began to choke up inside. Almost brought to tears. The gospel was a reading about Jesus healing a blind man on the Sabbath and how he is the light and we all are children of that light, no matter what religion you practice or don’t.
As I left, my mind drifted to what I was so mad and upset about. It’s two things, my former employer who reads this blog and tries to use my words and statements again me in negotiations, and Liberty Mutual who has denied my long-term disability because they see a pharmacist as a sit down, light duty job. So, then it hit me! I was doing what I said I wouldn’t do, I was letting others determine my mood and attitude. My conscious is clean. I have done everything and stand by every word that comes out of my mouth. While a company who I gave 17 plus years of darn good work, if I might add, is willing to toss me aside like an expired bottle of Tylenol. I can sleep at night, can you. Liberty Mutual sees my job and condition as no big deal. Let them stand in line in a store for 5 minutes trying not shake the cart to death, just trying to check out. The people who stare or slightly glance at me don’t bother me, but a woman in a cubicle in New Hampshire tells me that we don’t care if your employer can accommodate you, go find another job! Like I can walk in anywhere and say oh yah, I work here now. That was where all this anger stems from.
So, I have decided to take back my emotions from employer and a heartless insurance company, and focus on what this blog was supposed to be about, OT. A disease that most Neurologist don’t know about, most people never heard about, or a society that care less about. Don’t get me wrong, there are many good and decent people in this world, but there are to many that would plop down three or four hundred bucks for a piece of clothing just because a Kardashian wore it or sells it.
From this point forward the wo is me crap is gone from my life. I will not mention like in Harry Potter “those who should not be named” and continue to tell my story, about my disease and my life with it. I have decided to follow the light in my world, that of Jesus Christ and let the chips fall where they may.
Will I have bad days yes, will I get frustrated yes, but so what! I will deal with, I will move forward, I will survive. If faith talk bothers you, then don’t read. This is helping me and millions of people around the world who have suffered far worse than I. It’s time for me to get back to what I truly believe my purpose is now, to be a voice for the voiceless. Today is today and tomorrow will be tomorrow. I will still be here and my voice will be heard.
Thank you, please share, and as always God bless!!