I know many of the OT community experience major lows and minor highs. Those of us with a positive attitude can achieve those highs.

I am a master at hiding my lows in public. But, the lows always affect my closest relationships. My wife, my kids, and my parents get the worst from me. If I were in their shoes, I wouldn’t put with me. I’m not sure if or why they have written me off completely.

Do others see that? I can’t be the only one. My actions are going to leave me alone, with only my outside support. I often wonder if deep down that’s what I want. Will we or I ever find peace? I don’t know. Faith, hope and love. I think we need all three, but when you push one or more away, is that enough. I don’t believe it is. Why do we hurt the ones we love the most.

I see myself as damaged goods. It’s hard for me to believe that anyone would want to put up with me, so I wrap myself into a cocoon. No one can get in and I won’t let myself out.

I realize this is not an encouraging topic, but it’s what I’m feeling now. Complete honesty and real emotions, that’s what this blog will be.

Thanks for reading, and as always God bless!!

Matt

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