Nobody really asks me what a day in the life of my OT means for me. Everyone’s experience is different, so I’ll try to stick to with what I know on a one day experience. No better day to start with than yesterday.

I wake for work and instantly feel fatigued and sore. I never sleep well, unless I take sleep aids prescribed or other. If I do take something, I feel more groggy, or that “hungover” effect. Once my body realizes that it’s standing up, the tremors begin. The morning routine is probably the hardest part of the day for me. Brushing teeth, showering, shaving, dressing and all that goes into it, is ridiculously hard and taxing to my body. So essentially, I’m wore out before I start.

Work is good and bad. No longer a practicing pharmacist, I still am licensed and able, but no one wants to hire a pharmacist that can’t stand no matter what the Americans with Disabilities Act says. I work in an office, at a desk behind a computer and phone. This is fine, but I make a conscious effort to get up a walk every hour or so, because that’s when I truly feel at my best. The work day doesn’t feel to bad at all, except for the fact that I can not do what I spent so much time educating myself for, so self-pity and flashback to my last day in the pharmacy are always there.

I was separated from my wife for about 9 months, so during that time I was able to go to the gym 3 or 4 days during the week after work, which really helped my body and mind. I’ve been back home for almost 2 months now and have been able to get to the gym maybe 5 times, total. Kids, family and that my wife works nights makes it a battle to get there regularly. Sacrifice, my health or my family shouldn’t be an issue, but it is.

After homework, dinner, showers, the evening is gone. The kids get to bed, my wife and I will straighten up the house a bit, maybe watch a show and that’s when the nightmare begins. My wife can sleep, sometimes. Sometimes she has to work. By that time the tremors in my legs are so severe that I have to sit. I can’t sleep….want to because of being exhausted, but cannot.

My normal fall asleep time is 230-4 AM. Get up at 630, and do it all over again. Now I’m middle-aged and can still function at this rate. Imagine being a few years older, with that routine, pain and angst. How much harder would it be? Notice I didn’t mention the meds I take. I won’t. People judge. Employers discriminate. Social stigma. I personally could care less about that or them. Other’s do and that just adds to the problem. A day in the life….still think it’s a nothing or fake disease?

Thank you. Comments always welcome.

Matt

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